Mommy Meltdown

I like to take Stella to mother goose on the loose. It is at the public library's in my area where babies and toddlers listen and interact by saying and doing hand motions to nursery rhymes. Sounds cute right? Well not if your Stella. I keep trying to take her thinking she will eventually enjoy but I give up! I look at every other kids in there smiling and giggling with their mommies, but nooooooo, not Stella. If I sing one word she starts screeching and whining like I just did the most awful thing ever, cute huh? We went this morning and after her first little outburst I took her outside to discipline her, rather than causing a scene. Then we go back in to try it again. I give up trying to participate with her and sit there quietly. But when its time to turn in their scarves Stella is not having it. Every other kid is walking up to the librarian turning in their scarves but when I tell Stella its time to turn in her scarf she starts yelling and throwing things. Not because she wants the scarf but because I told her what to do.

Its days like this when I don't even like my own kid! Don't judge me, I heard you gasp. I get over it quickly but not without a few tears myself. It doesn't happen often but I hate feeling that way. I don't think my pregnancy hormones are helping because today we both left the library in tears. I can't even sing to the radio in the car without her getting mad! I'm not trying to annoy her I promise! It feels like we've just skipped straight to the teenage years where mom can't do anything right. It is exhausting.

My mom tells me Stella thinks she "rules the roost", but she is in for a rude awakening! I am reclaiming my roost and if I want to sing 'Grease lightening' or 'Summer lovin' then I am darn sure gonna do it! Stella, my love, you are not the boss of me. You're not, you're not, you're not!!!

Early Mornings

I remember the days when an early morning was 4:30 or 5am. Those days fade fast, like everyone said they would, and now an early morning is 6 or 6:30am. Its funny because I remember saying "If she would just sleep till 6am I could deal with that". Now that we've been to the wonderful world of 7:30am and even on occasion, 8am, 6:30am feels sooooo early!

I try to bring Stella in bed with us to catch a few more precious minutes of rest, but Stella has other plans and they usually include sitting on my head, no joke. Trying to get her to sleep in my bed just does not happen, she only wants to play. She enjoys jumping up and down on my stomach, its not very comfortable but at least its a good ab workout.

I must say that her greetings are pretty darn cute, she likes to say "hi" whenever we get her in the morning or after a nap. Its not just "hi" though, its more like "hieeeeeeeee", in a sweet little high pitch voice. So this morning when I brought her into bed we laid there quietly for just a couple minutes before she turned to face me and with big eyes and a big grin said "hieeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Even though I was half asleep I had to laugh. Not really a bad way to start your day, even if was a little early.

Oh The Terror!

What happened to my sweet little girl? Lately she is making appearances from time to time but more often she is a pinching, hitting, grunting, screaming little brute. She is even a little scary sometimes because of how rough she is. She gave me a fat lip twice in one day, once with her big noggin and the other with her foot. Yes, my sweet little baby kicked me in the face! I believe this rough and tumble persona she has acquired has been intensified with some incoming molars. You can only imagine the chaos in my home this last week. I think I even cried during her bath the other day. She is just darn right exhausting!

Thankfully, either her tooth has cut through or the devil has left her body because she has had many more moments of sweetness. Yesterday and today she has hugged me, petted my cheek and given me kisses. Do I dare say my sweet little girl has returned? It may be to soon to tell but at least she is giving me a break. She isn't talking much yet, but I have a feeling the words are just dying to come out. Maybe then the physical abuse will end. Then she can move on to repeatedly saying "NO" and "MINE".

Toddlers are amazing to watch, they are like little sponges soaking in the world around them. But they are also like angry foreigners cursing at you in a language you don't understand. I will have to make the sweet moments last in my memory to get me through the times when I want to rip my hair out. If I start going bald, please be kind.

MOPS

I'm sure you thought I forgot about my blog, but nope, I'm still here! I've just been doing the normal stuff, taking care of Stella, Mike, our house. I'm still working at Awful Annie's, play dates usually at least one a week and I've been visiting my Grandpa every Friday. So I keep pretty busy and I'm about to make myself a lot busier!

If you haven't heard of MOPS it stands for Mother's of Preschoolers. MOPS is an International organization that is a part of churches all over the world. It is a group where moms can get together and fellowship, get support and talk to other moms going through the same stage of life; raising young children. It is also a great place to learn how to teach your children about God's love. I really feel like this is an invaluable resource for young moms and since there isn't a MOPS group at my church I am going to start one! I met with one of the pastors of my church last week and they are totally behind me which is very encouraging. However, I am a little intimidated seeing as though I don't really have experience with this type of thing but I'm a people person so I think I can learn the rest. My next move is to recruit some other moms to assist me as leaders because I can't do this alone. This task is slightly daunting because I can imagine what I might think being approached with such a task. Hopefully other moms will see the benefits that a group like this will have for themselves and their families and that might inspire them to want to help other women as well. I guess we'll see what happens, keep me in your prayers please! I really am excited about this and I think my church will be too. Who knows, maybe we will even be able to reach out to the community! How cool would that be!

Update: Cleaning Kick

So far so good! I have missed a chore or two but I've been really good about fitting it in on another day. Being on a cleaning schedule is keeping me thinking about how to better manage my time and keep a cleaner house. The biggest challenge, and I'm sure you can relate, is the clutter. You put it away and then it comes back! Sneaky clutter. Its only been a couple of weeks though so hopefully I can keep it going. Wish me luck!

A Fish Called Stella

Last summer Stella was just a few months old so she wasn't such a big fan of the water. But this summer, I think she sprouted fins! We had a play date today with our friends Susan and Karly who have a pool and Stella had an absolute blast. She just loves water! We splashed, kicked, blew bubbles ( well, really she drank the pool water), Stella even went under water twice. She was so happy, smiling and laughing, it was fun to see. I looked into swimming lessons and I think I better sign my little fishy up. Its the most fun we've had in weeks!

One of my kicks

So I've been known to get on what you might call a "kick". I get all psyched about something, talk about it, research it on the Internet, and become quite obsessed for about a week maybe two. Am I flaky, or easily bored? Call it what you will but that is just how I roll. So this leads to my latest kick: cleaning. Not a bad kick to be on huh? I am just really fed up with the state of my household, its a never ending battle. My life seems to be on instant replay when it comes to cleaning up, if you have a little one you know exactly what I mean! I am so tired of cleaning up the same mess over and over and I am so busy doing that that I never get any cleaning done. So in order to bring some sanity back to my life I am trying to stick to a cleaning schedule that I made. I printed out a blank template from the Internet and filled in the tasks to complete on specific days. So far I only missed one thing, sweeping and mopping. I meant to do it the next day but decided to just wait until next week so I didn't get behind on my other scheduled tasks. So not bad for my first week, I just hope this sticks because it really would make my life much more manageable. I really am more of a binge cleaner, I work fast and get it all done in a few hours. I never have a few hours in a row to clean anymore so I have to change my plan of action. I must admit I did a much better job closing at work tonight. Maybe my cleaning kick will sneak into other aspects of my life and I will just become a wonderfully clean an organized person! I wouldn't hold your breath.

UPDATE: My house is still a mess and there is no cleaning schedule in place. Raise your hand if you saw that one coming.