A check up for Stella

It was early this fall when I got a note from Stella's preschool saying they needed an updated doctors approval for her to continue attending school. I was less than thrilled with this news since we had just been to the doctor and it did not go well at all.

At our last visit she hid from the doctor under my chair and I believe at one point she even took a swing at poor Dr. Leo. She has never been fond of the nurses but usually she tolerates our doctor. On that particular day you could say she was not in the mood.

When I found out we had to go back and experience all that fun again I knew I had some work ahead of me. I did a lot of preparation for our next doctors visit. This is a regular practice with Stella because she tends to have strong reactions about too much attention or any kind of poking, prodding or touching. So we talked a lot about what to expect with our next visit and I even threw in a celebratory trip to McDonald's after a successful doctors visit. You may call that bribery, I choose the word celebratory. I know I was probably pushing it with this one, but I figured since we were going to be at the doctors office anyway, why not get the flu vaccination too? After all, they have a mist for kids. How tough can that really be?

The big day came and my little Stella was an absolute trooper! The only thing she wouldn't do was the eye test where you look at a sign and tell the nurse what letters you see (its pictures for little kids). She even got on the big scale, which usually causes tears and screaming. I know...the scale? Really? All said and done the doctor completed her physical and signed her off for another year of preschool.

Now for the flu mist.

We waited for the nurse to come back with the mist then it was off to McDonald's. Well, we waited and waited and waited. After 30 minutes I finally stuck my head out in the hall to flag someone down. I got a nurses attention and she said another nurse would be right in with the vaccination. At that point Stella had had about enough of the doctor and enough of cooperating. When the nurse finally arrived with the mist Stella was totally done with this whole doctor business.

I was soft and encouraging at first, reminding Stella about the Happy Meal that was waiting for her. The nurse and I tried to tell her how quickly it would all be over but she she adamantly refused. I became anxious and sweaty, taking on her panicked feeling on the inside but trying to stay calm and collected on the outside.

After a good amount of reasoning, (even though we all know reasoning is pointless with any child but sometimes happens when a Mom is desperate and losing control), I became a little more stern and uttered a threat or two. The nurse was trying as well but was following my lead as to how to handle the situation. At one point, OK maybe a couple of times, we tried to restrain her but she was like a bucking bronco. It was fight or flight for Stella and I still can't believe how strong a 35lb 3 year old can be. My mother was in the waiting room with Ben and came in for the end of the festivities to try and help. We could all see it wasn't going to happen, we left. Stella and I were both in tears.

In the end what I was most upset about was that I didn't allow her to have the real victory of her doctors visit. She did so wonderful with everything else I had asked her to do and she deserved to feel great about her success. Unfortunately it was overshadowed by the trauma of the stupid flu vaccination. I have shared this story with friends that were very kind and reassured me they probably would have done the same thing. But in that moment I felt like I failed my daughter. I know what it takes for her to overcome fears and If I could do that day over again I would not have pushed her.

Good news though! This is not the end of this story. Stay tuned for part 2, it ends so much better!

Carbohydrate Heaven

Isn't stress kinda crazy? It really does wacky things to your body. Usually if I am stressed I break out with a lovely cold sore. As I've gotten older they only get bigger and more painful, it's really sucky. Stress will weaken my immune system and I end up with a cold, or I just feel tired and lazy. Lately I have been under a significant amount of stress and I find myself eating horribly. Nothing fresh or healthy, just carbs, sugar and fats. I did have an apple slice today but that was probably the only remotely healthy thing I've eaten in about a week and a half. I'm not a super healthy eater but I do really try to maintain a balanced diet. I always struggle to get as many fruits and veggies in as a should but overall I eat decent.

Unfortunately it is the scale that brought the stress eating to my attention. I knew I wasn't eating great but when I went to the doctor Tuesday and stepped on the scale I realized I have gained almost 5 lbs! That may not be a huge deal to some people but for someone my size its noticeable and it goes straight to my gut! If I were going to be over weight in my old age I would be like one of those old ladies you see with chicken legs and a giant belly. I don't know why but that is just where my fat likes to hang out.

Now the hard part: stopping! Now that I have recognized what I've been doing, and think back in horror about the absolute garbage I've been eating, I have to do something about it. Stupid.

I have had to break out of ruts before but I don't enjoy it and I like to complain about it. Well, I like to complain about a lot of stuff. Anyhow, I'm not going to make a plan because It will stress me out even more if I don't follow through. My hope is that now that I can't unconsciously eat and eat and over eat, I will start making better choices like I usually do. Time will tell...and so will my waist line.

Yoga buzz

I took a break from my yoga practice due to a bizarre numbness I was having in the left side of my face and body. After two weeks the strange numbness has disappeared and I am definitely feeling the need to get my om on. Yesterday I was finally able to attend a class called twisted bliss and let me tell you, that is exactly what it was. We twisted, stretched, sighed and relaxed. It was awesome! Not every yoga class is created equal and there are definitely ones I prefer over others (the same can go for teachers). But, thankfully, yesterdays class provided me with a much needed yoga buzz. I don't always feel this way after a class but when I do have an excellent practice I am rewarded with a feeling I can only describe as buzzed. I am happy, VERY relaxed and just plain high on life. I know yoga is not everyone's "thing" but everyone should find something that makes them feel this good. Namaste:)

Creative People

I have never considered myself a creative person. I get obsessed with perfection and if I'm not good at something, well, I often quit doing it. I just read an article on how to cultivate the creativity that lies within us all. In the article there is a great sentence that I will now butcher but it was something like "if you are not yet creative you are still in a larvae state and you will soon become a beautiful butterfly of creativity". Cheesy analogy, yes, but inspiring none the less. I have always thought that some people are just born creative while the rest of us have to go through life admiring those creative people. But maybe it doesn't really have to be like that. One thing that I haven't tried before, mostly because I am just to critical of myself, is practicing and developing my own creativity.

Most people aren't great at something the first time they try it so why not try something a few times? Then a few more, maybe changing or tweaking it. I think creative people enjoy the process as much as the final product and that is something that I will have to learn. I just want something to turn out amazing the first time so that will be a challenge for me. I am very much like that with my writing. I have a hard time letting it flow. Blogging is a little easier but usually I analyze each paragraph sometimes each sentence before I can get the fullness of the idea out. I think doing anything like that, at least anything artistic, can really diminish the potential of the final product.

Creating something takes time and I will have be patient with the time I have available. Which at this stage of my life is very little. At least I have naptime. Thank God for naps! I am very pleased by this new realization that I don't have to be boxed in to my boring bubble. Yay for my thirties! Its really interesting the way our ideas change as we age.

One thing I must mention before I finish this post is two people that inspire me. My Grandmother Bonnie and my Aunt Irene. These two women just ooze style and creativity and are crazy talented. Thanks Grandma and Aunt Irene for being such an inspiration! I would be happy with just an ounce of your creativity!

PITA

When babies start eating solids there is a brief period of time when its fun to feed them. Any first in the life of a baby is exciting but for me the fun in feeding my kids baby food wears off fast. Especially when they won't eat, then it's just annoying. Benjamin still gets the majority of his calories from breast milk so I don't worry when he doesn't eat much. All you have to do is look at the kid to see he's not starving.

Although I'm not too worried about his calories I am a little concerned about his regularity. Poor guy is a little backed up these days. I try to give him juice and water to soften things up but he hardly ever has a bottle and is not really interested in drinking it. He is not a big fan of prunes either. I can't say I blame him. So its quite frustrating when I'm trying to feed him and he clamps his mouth shut like a steel trap. I've even tried to wiggle the spoon in using gentle force but when he's done, he's done. Today I was doing my best to coax him into eating but he just wasn't having it. He pressed his lips together in protest and even shook his had back and forth. He can't even talk and his first word is still NO! He's only eight months old and already the little turkey is saying "No mommy, get that crap outta my face, I'm not gonna eat it!". You should see him stare at me straight-faced, almost taunting me like "What are you gonna do about it Mom?".

What a little PITA.

PITA is the nick name we gave Stella as a baby. It stands for Pain In The Ass. I know, we're horrible, you don't need to tell me that. We had plenty of sweet and endearing names for her too but PITA was reserved for when she was being, well...a PITA. We just like to keep it real around here. I didn't think Ben would ever earn the nickname because he is what we call our "easy baby", if there really is such a thing. But he was being a defiant little bugger today and earned himself the title.

BFF's: Healthy eating and Exercise

It seems like such a simple concept, eat healthy and exercise. It's also common knowledge that you really don't get good results, inside or out, unless you do both. But something dawned on me while I was eating taquitos, followed by a slice of apple pie, and watching Rachel Ray talk about healthy eating on the Dr. Oz show. There is no way I can personally eat right unless I exercise too. It's not just about the end result it's about the whole thought process behind eating and exercise. Are you saying "well duh" yet? You should be! This is so simple, exercise and be active and you will WANT to eat better. Who wants to eat McDonalds after their yoga class? Uh, not me. You want to fight cravings? EXERCISE! It really cuts down on the cookie's I shove in my pie hole all week. Or in this particular week, actual pie. I bought an apple pie because it was on sale, and guess who is the only one eating it? Me! TGIF because I need Monday to come real quick so I can get back on track. The beginning of the week is always the best time to start something new, that's just good sense, and I need to finish my pie.

A whole new light

I see so many mommy blogs about losing your sanity and desperately needing coffee, both of which I can totally relate to. But I think I'm starting to see life as a mom of two in a whole new light. Its not so crazy here. Don't get me wrong, potty training Stella after just bringing home a brand new baby almost pushed me over the edge, but I think I may be back from the brink! Ben will be eight months old tomorrow and I don't know, everything just feels more...manageable. We still have the occasional bad day but Stella is maturing so much (this really is true if I ignore the out of control fit she threw at the grocery store yesterday). She behaves much more like the sweet little girl she is rather than a grunting, wild animal.

I feel like I have a new perspective and I am really trying to embrace the saying "don't sweat the small stuff". There is just no time, nor do I want to make time for that. It's not like I never stress or worry but I just don't feel so defeated by things that are often not even in my control. I'm sure if you ask Mike he will say I'm a total worrier but I have to make up for his laissez-faire attitude. He is the king of "it will work out". Ya buddy, after I work it out! (love you honey:)

I got laid off a couple weeks ago, not an uncommon thing in this economy. I was only working a couple of shifts a month at the restaurant but the extra money really made things more comfortable. This is just another hick up I have no control over, so I'll have to roll with it. Plus I feel pretty confident that I can never get fired from my real job, being a mother. They may want to fire me sometimes but too bad so sad Wingfields, mommy is tenured for life!

Breakfast, lunch and dinner

 

I could eat this boy up all day long! And let me tell you those cheeks are the sweetest! Benjamin Michael weighs a mere 21 lbs and will be eight months on friday...EIGHT MONTHS!! I can't believe it and it is so true what they say about the second flying by even faster than the first. He has already had his first holiday season and before I blink we will be planning his first birthday. My little Ben is such a joy and he loves his big sister and she loves him. What more could you ask for!

Growing fast

 

Stella's third birthday and we successfully sang to her with no tears! My little girl is growing up!