Monday, January 4, 2010

Its a big one

At the end of this month I will be turning 30. Surprisingly enough I'm not freaking out. I know many people that have stressed over this milestone but for me, ehh, no biggie. If I think back ten years to where I thought I was going to be at this age I'm pretty darn close. Geez, maybe I didn't set big enough goals for myself. I always knew I wanted to be married, check. And I definitely wanted kids, check, soon to be double check. I guess what I'm trying to say is I feel my age. Is that weird? I'm not sure. I guess with every birthday I've always felt younger than my actual age but after having kids I don't feel so young anymore. I'm not saying I'm old, just not 23.

So what do I see in my thirties? I guess now is as good a time as any to think about that. Obviously my first priority and what consumes most of my time is my family. Stella will be two, the day after me. Wow. And we will be having baby number 2 in early June. So its safe to say that my thirties will most likely be spent catering to every desire of their sweet little hearts. I have a feeling those years are going to fly by. I'm about to have a two year old for goodness sake, where did my baby go! I am good with that role too, wife, mother, homemaker. It works for me. However, I feel like I need to explore me. Sounds a little strange but I want to figure out what really makes me tick. Will I have a passion in life? Or find great interest in something new? These are things that aren't so clear when you spend most of your time thinking about and caring for others.

Life is a journey though isn't it? We spend our whole lives getting to know our true selves. I 'm not sure I ever want to feel like I have it all figured out but a better idea would be nice. I guess you could say I am content with being in the process. And this is new to me.

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